Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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