ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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