we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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