he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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