True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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