There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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