Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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