I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
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He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
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I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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