Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
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Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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