She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I pour the whiskey from now on
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize