Say something about gay babies.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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