Pappa wants mamma naked
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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