he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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