That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize