If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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