why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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