bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
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Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
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Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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