I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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