I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize