it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She bit a glass in half.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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