I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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