sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize