Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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