just come out here and I will go home with you...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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