now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize