Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he thought i was a dude.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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