i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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