No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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