my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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