pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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