Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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