Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
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so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
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If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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