I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize