What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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