You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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