I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
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For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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