Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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