You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize