My first STD was from a foam party
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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