Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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