New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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