just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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