Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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