I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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