her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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