and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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