My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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