I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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