i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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