so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize